If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Expensive Greeting Card

If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Expensive Card: Sarcastic Birthday Humor

It takes decades of sitting in a dark, dusty room to reach top-shelf status, and they are well past the initial fermentation stage. The "If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Very Expensive" Greeting Card wraps an unsparing jab about their advancing age in the silky smooth disguise of high-society flattery. Featuring a smug, velvet-robed gentleman raising a tumbler to vintage decay, this card strikes the right balance between a classy toast and a blunt reminder that their warranty expired years ago.

Printed on heavyweight luster stock, the rich amber palette and retro editorial art make getting older look deceptively distinguished. The interior is completely blank, leaving plenty of unfiltered space to tally up their joint aches, debate their actual bottle date, or offer a stiff pour to numb the reality. Each card includes a matching white mailing envelope, ready to slide across the table or drop in the post.

If You Were Whiskey You'd Be Expensive Greeting Card Specifications:

• Dimensions: 5" x 7" (folded)
• Material: Heavyweight luster cardstock
• Interior: Blank
• Inclusions: Matching white mailing envelope
• Print: Full-color exterior